Tuesday, April 26, 2016


UPDATE: Derek Medina was convicted of second-degree murder, sentenced January, 2016, and is serving his sentence for the slaying. ************************************************************************** The Florida man had been accused of killing his wife and then CREEPILY posting a photo of her corpse on Facebook. Derek Medina, 33, of South Miami, had been accused of killing 27-year-old Jennifer Alfonso in August of 2013. ************************************************************************** Back in 2015, Florida State prosecutors alleged that Medina,”an undefeated, 200-pound amateur boxer who was much larger than his 5-foot-6 wife,” gunned down Alfonso because she threatened to leave him. His Facebook post, state’s attorney Leah Klein said, was his way of “claiming victory.” Medina admitted to the shooting in the posting, claiming his wife had assaulted him, only he had forgotten to throw himself down some stairs so he would LOOK ASSAULTED.. ************************************************************************** Medina claimed that he uploaded the picture in an attempt to show family what had allegedly happened. He claimed in court that Alfonso whipped out a knife after the two argued. After supposedly disarming his wife, she attacked him again. Medina’s defense attorneys are also claiming Alfonso abused drugs, battered her husband, and was involved in Satan worship. ************************************************************************** Perhaps these lawyers should try their hand at TV screenplay writing or paperbacks. ************************************************************************** Police say Alfonso’s body “was found in a position indicating she was cowering in fear.” ************************************************************************** At the trial, Medina pled not guilty to first-degree murder charges, but nevertheless predicted in the post he’d end up in prison. “I’m going to prison or death sentence for killing my wife. Love you guys. Miss you guys. Take care. Facebook people you’ll see me in the news,” Medina posted along with the photo, according to the Miami Herald. ************************************************************************** Medina got life in prison when convicted. ************************************************************************** Feeling giddy or DRUNK, post your face with no explanation ************************************************************************** Doing this at at 1 AM is preferable, really any time of day is ideal for posting a close-up shot of your unintelligent, unblinking mug to a coworker’s wall. such as Pic Fic's Darren Dork. ************************************************************************** After the first occasion, Darren was so uncomfortable he chose to ignore the situation altogether and said nothing about my virtual gift to him for several weeks. I was eventually forced to confront him about it. He responded by casting his eyes downward and saying, “Um... yeah. I saw that.” Success! ************************************************************************** You may tag yourself in someone else’s engagement photo, either ONE of you with them or just call yourself --THEM. ************************************************************************** Facebook is a virtual goldmine of intimate couple’s portraits, both wedding, engagement, or hookup or otherwise. And they all get lots of likes. Maybe you haven’t received a notification in a while, or maybe you just want to feel like a part of something or sort of PHOTOBOMB out of sheer mean-ness. Either way, I recommend tagging yourself in another couple’s professionally-shot portrait. ************************************************************************** I went to college with Brianna and Max, so I was sure to get lots of notifications as our mutual friends liked their public testament to (what I had forced into becoming) our everlasting love. And I did! That’s me. In the middle. ************************************************************************** Comment on a photo from 10 years ago on a cold dark night, when someone was kissed 'neath a town hall light. ************************************************************************** When you first friend someone on Facebook, what do you do? You go back and look through every photo they’ve ever been tagged in starting in reverse chronological order naturally. But sometimes, your finger slips ever-so-slightly and you’ve just liked a photo from 2008 and given yourself away. It’s time to embrace your fears—and go one step further. ************************************************************************** I don’t know who this girl is, and I’m not sure what she’s eating, maybe SQUID. But I wanted everyone involved in this photo to know that I wanted them to know that I’d been there, watching her eat SQUID. And now they do. I have yet to receive a response. ************************************************************************** You can comment on old “life events” you had no part in, like voting for Burning Sandals, the Democrat Socialist candidate. ************************************************************************** One of the greatest things about Facebook is the ability to retroactively mark the big events in your life: the day you were born, your first breakdance, your first day on the job—all there for all the world to see. And if you want the world to see it, surely you want to hear the world’s thoughts on it? ************************************************************************** And if you really want to kick it up a notch, you can comment with phrases that would be uncomfortable to say even in person. So they know you care. ************************************************************************** Request someone’s relationship status, as in are you two MARRIED YET? ************************************************************************** Facebook has essentially just dropped this one right in your mailbox. If you go to someone’s profile, look to the left. If they have chosen to keep their relationship status hidden, you’ll see a small line prompting you to prod them for that very same sensitive information they’ve actively chosen to keep private. The future! ************************************************************************** Then request their address ************************************************************************** If, for some ungodly reason, the person you’ve chosen to complement has decided to oblige your absurd request, no reason to stop there. Facebook lets you ask them for all sorts of private, personal information they’ve made an explicit choice to keep hidden from you. High school? College? Phone number? Home address? How many times they SMOKE PER DAY. All of the above. ************************************************************************** Friend someone else’s grandma, or aunt. You GRADUATE! ************************************************************************** Everyone is on Facebook these days: your teachers, your mom, aunts and uncles—the whole gang’s there. But being friends with your own relatives can get boring. That’s when it’s time to start friending other people’s relatives. And no one is more excited about new friends on Facebook than grandparents. ************************************************************************** Poke someone else’s grandma ************************************************************************** I got lucky. After friending my coworker Nick Stango’s grandmother, she poked me. I was delighted and promptly poked her back. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Interact with #Brands FOISTED on your page. ************************************************************************** It makes people more uncomfortable than anything else you could possibly do. ************************************************************************** BTW, this is NOBODY'S GRANDMA...this is killer and his corpse bride!

Levi Reardon, CAPTURED


On a Crimestopper's Facebook Page, Levi Charles Reardon facebooked himself into jail after “liking” his own most wanted poster. Police picked up on the moment of vanity and arrested Reardon on April 24th, 2015. ************************************************************************** Reardon, 23, accused of felony forgery, was rapidly found and arrested for his crime involving a stolen wallet and forged checks. ************************************************************************** Not exactly the Dr. James Moriarty of the criminal set. ************************************************************************** Share this: